Immediately after a breakup, you might experience a wide range of emotions. Loneliness, grief, anger, rejection, and confusion.
The post-breakup healing process is like navigating turbulent ocean waves. But eventually, those messy waters will calm and you’ll find yourself itching to explore uncharted waters again.
The last step in the post-breakup healing process is sort of like a graduation. You’ll have learned a few lessons in love and maybe have a better idea of what you need in a partner.
So, if it’s time for your post-breakup graduation -- it might also be time for a post-breakup glow-up.
A glow-up is an internal and external transformation. Before you get back out there, work on feeling like the best version of yourself first.
Let’s get into all things post-breakup glow-up. We’ll mention some action items, products, affirmations, and self-care tips.
You gotta feel it to heal it
It’s gotta be said if you haven’t let yourself be all up in your feelings about a break up -- YOU’VE GOT TO. The saying goes “you’ve got to feel it to heal it.” And it couldn’t be more true.
Numbing out and ignoring your own need for healing is not wise.
Feel your feelings. Breakups hurt. They can bring up a lot of emotional baggage you had stored away. Move through those emotions, let yourself feel them so you can let them go.
If you don’t let those feelings out, you just store them away. You don’t want to take that hurt into your next relationship. So, before you start your glow-up, make sure you aren’t ignoring your emotions.
If you need time to cry it out -- call a friend, write in a journal, cry in your car listening to sad music. Release in any way you need to let it out. Just make sure you let it out before moving on.
Get your mindset right
Now that you’ve moved through the bulk of your breakup blues, it’s time to get that mindset right.
A common misconception is a break-up is a “failure.” But it’s not. A breakup is just the acknowledgment that something simply wasn’t working. Staying when you know you shouldn’t is a disservice to both parties.
A good way to reset your perspective is to treat yourself like you would your best friend.
If your best friend said, “UGH I’m a big failure, another failed relationship..”
You’d say “Of course you aren’t! They just weren’t right for you. You deserve happiness!” Right?
So give that loving compassion to yourself. You deserve happiness too.
Give yourself some love
When you’re glowing up, or even going through the weeds, you need to show yourself some love. Give yourself gifts of pampering, fun, and even alone time. Here are some self-loving action items.
✨ Social media cleanse
If you need to, block your ex on social media. If you’re the type that’s constantly refreshing Instagram, dying to see who your ex is with -- cut that out. You’re letting them go, which means cleansing your social media of them too. The unfollow (and/or block) button is free.
✨ Yes, masturbation is self-care
Saying goodbye to your sexual partner doesn’t mean you have to say goodbye to your sexual pleasure. Quite the opposite. Flying solo is healthy and beneficial for your mental health. Invest time in your own pleasure.
✨ Get rid of anything you have of theirs
Once you’re at the right stage, you’ve got to let go of anything you have that either belonged to them or reminds you of them. Fridge photos, their favorite mug, clothes, etc. Get it out and say goodbye. This is an act of self-love.
✨ Read self-help books that resonate with you
Deep dive into self-help topics that light you up. There are amazing books about emotional healing, breakups, mindfulness, and self-love. Take a page out of their book and learn from this whole process.
✨ Get a therapist
Yes, you can pay a compassionate human to sit with you and sort through your feelings. It’s a great act of self-love to get a supportive talk therapist during a hard time. This may help expedite the healing process and help you see things you might have otherwise missed.
Embody the new
The definition of embodiment is “a tangible or visible form of an idea, quality, or feeling.”
A physical glow-up is an embodiment of all that you’ve internally transformed.
This can take so many forms. This could just be how you confidently command yourself. Or it could be a physical change you’ve always been tempted by. Here are some ways you can embody the new.
- Get that hair cut or color you've always wanted
Always wanted bangs? Do it. Always wanted to be a redhead? Call your salon. There’s a lot of change that has changed internally, so try to bring that to life with a new hairstyle.
- Take fantastic care of your skin
Glow-up by literally glowing. Learn the ins and outs of skincare. Invest in getting your skin looking its very best. Set up a day and night skincare routine.
- Get moving and feel good in your body
Revenge body? Maybe. But if you want to change your body, do it for you. Get your body moving -- go running, start weight lifting, start a yoga practice. Try something new and energizing. You’ll feel more alive and centered in your body.
- Ask for what you want
You know what you want. So, ask for it. Setting clear boundaries and asking for what you need is an embodiment of everything you’ve learned from your breakup. It’s not selfish to ask for what you want.
Breakups are hard. They can be dark and twisty. But, you can come out of them a better version of yourself. Keep chasing this glow-up and you’ll be able to get back out on the market proud to be you.