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So many people like to fancy themselves as relationship experts, and the internet has created so many platforms that it can be extraordinarily hard to sort through them all.
Some of this advice is from people with good intentions and good information, but a lot of it is from delusional people or ones who just want to make some money without really intending to help anyone.
There’s also “The Devotion System,” masterminded by Amy North. Targeted at women who want to have a relationship with a man that actually lasts, “The Devotion System” offers a sense of renewal for anyone who feels jaded by relationships.
The kind of dating advice you need depends on where you are in your love life.
You might need help getting someone to notice you, or you might need help going from a casual relationship to a full-time one.
“The Devotion System’ offers assistance in all aspects.
You might have a pattern of failure in your relationships. This isn’t meant to make you chastise yourself, as anyone can make mistakes or get in a bad relationship.
However, if you find yourself constantly making the same mistakes, including falling in love with people who you know are bad for you, you need real help, which Amy North can provide.
Coming from the great city of Vancouver, Canada, Amy North has been helping people around the world for over half-a-decade.
All parts of a relationship that you can think of have been given Amy’s expertise, including the messier parts, such as separating.
Amy believes in love, but she doesn’t try to portray some kind of fairytale ideal in which everything can be perfect if you wish hard enough.
You need to work hard on yourself and your relationship.
“The Devotion System” is an eBook, available on desktop and mobile programs. You can read it online as well.
There are three different sections. The first talks about healing, the second gives an overview on understanding men, and the third talks about the different parts of getting someone to fall for you.
Although Amy’s insights aren’t all going to strike you as entirely original, the way they’ve been organized so methodically is worth applauding.
This eBook is quite a page-turner, and it immediately grabs your attention. It starts by having you focus inward.
If there are things you need to do to really make yourself the best possible person, make sure you cover them before you go any further with trying to woo someone.
The inaugural section of the eBook talks about falling in love with one key person: yourself.
You’ve probably heard so much about how external love isn’t possible without internal love. Even if you’re sick of hearing this, you need to believe it truly.
You may have some bad experiences that are keeping you from loving yourself as much as you need to.
Perhaps you think that the more you attack yourself, the more you’ll grow.
But that doesn’t work, and neither does getting mad about how you look.
You might never look exactly how you want to, but you can be beautiful in a much more important way: through the kindness you can within you and spread to the people around you.
This can make you attractive in ways the most expensive makeup never could.
Sure, some men are shallow and only care about looks. However, these definitely aren’t the men you want to attract.
Having “spark” is important for any relationship, but this acronym means something different.
It’s what Amy champions women to have to see romantic success. You need to be:
👉 Sexy and sassy
👉 Playful and positive
👉 Attractive and admirable
👉 Radiant and real
👉 Keen and kind
Many of these elements may be within you, but they just need the right nudging in order to come out.
Advertisers will have you believe that a particular outfit is all it takes to feel confident, because they depend on your dollars.
You can accomplish this in a much more affordable and sustainable way. You need to think in a way that uproots any negative perceptions you might have of yourself.
You don’t need to despise yourself to benefit from a new way of thinking.
You probably have at least some love for yourself, but it might be coming out only when you’re accomplishing something new, like getting a new job.
“The Devotion System” can teach you to love yourself no matter how you are, as well as reshaping yourself for the better.
There are differences between women and men, just like how there are differences between women and other women.
Humans aren’t a monolith, but our differences don’t need to prevent us from getting along.
Amy uses this section to help you better understand what men are all about and how this information can help you attract your ideal man.
It’s not meant to provide a complete analysis of the entire male gender. If you want to really get into that kind of complexity, you’ll have to read academic papers full of jargon.
Amy’s advice is digestible but also meaningful. One of the biggest ways she helps readers is by talking about the importance of communication.
Relationships need communication in order to work. Otherwise, confusion will reign supreme, making way for the inevitable resentment.
Communication is more than just talking. You need to know how a man thinks as well as how they communicate.
The final part is the most comprehensive. It runs the gamut of relationship development, especially with making someone your exclusive partner.
It starts with “The Monogamy Method.” This is really important to learn if you want to convince a man that you’re the absolute best person for them and that they shouldn’t be looking for anyone but you.
Amy will teach you how to make him feel secure.
Next is the more straightforward “Phone Phrenzy Technique.” Although it’s not quite as extensive, it’s still good to read, as you might be communicating on the phone in a way that’s hindering your chances of finding true love.
Sex isn’t the only thing that makes a relationship good, but it can definitely help. The eBook has an area that helps to really bring out the passions, both for him and for you.
Awareness of what gets you going in the bedroom is a must. When you’ve figured this out, you can learn about where men most desire physical contact.
Other information is brought up here. Amy uses visual means to help better communicate with you.
Along with the aforementioned chapters, there’s “Textual Chemistry” “Cheat-Proofing” and “Finding Love Online.”
These are all quality and timely sections. Not knowing how to text can be a deal breaker in a relationship, and you need to make infidelity unacceptable, as well as snagging a partner with the internet.
We really like "The Devotion System," even though it's not quite as revolutionary as you might hope for.
Some of the answers are obvious, but they're ones that you might've been ignoring. Now is the time to face the truth.
There's work you need to do before you read even the first sentence. You need to make yourself receptive to advice.
If you're feeling immovable, like you can't imagine following anyone's guidance but your own, "The Devotion System," can only help you so much.
But if you want to and are willing to work, this system will be great for you. Its adaptability means that you can apply these lessons to different situations.
You could read these two different times, five years apart, and emerge with completely different conclusions, but they are uniformly useful.
Devotion is a broad concept, but we all have to be devoted to someone. The best place to start is by being devoted to ourselves.
Otherwise, we wouldn't have any accountability or reason to care about others.
With "The Devotion System," you can love others and help them to love you because of the love you hold for yourself.
You'll find yourself shaking off the bonds of insecurity and living your life to the absolute fullest.
With the kindness of Amy North and the help of her "Devotion System," you can feel like a new woman.
When one of my close college friends ended her three-year relationship with her dream guy, I watched her spend months in solitude to recover from the breakup.
We tried to get her to go out and meet guys, but for the longest time, she insisted that she wasn’t ready.
When my two younger brothers started dating, though, I saw a very different scenario unfold. They would move on to someone new within weeks of ending the previous relationship and never seemed to bat an eye.
What I learned from these experiences was that men handle breakups very differently than women.
Well, it turns out guys are just wired differently and brought up to handle their emotions in a drastically different way than girls.
When it comes to handling a break-up, many people say that “women break up harder, but men break up longer.”
In other words, women typically engage in an emotional grieving process right after the breakup, whereas men initially stuff their feelings down and procrastinate on healing.
According to a study completed by researchers at New York’s Binghamton University, men typically experience anger right after a breakup and engage in more self-destructive behaviors as a result.
Some men turn to drinking and other mood-altering substances to dull their emotions after a breakup, whereas others turn to the gym to “sweat it out.”
What’s more, men often either stalk their ex on social media or completely erase any memory of them.
Also, many men jump right back into dating after a breakup — but not because they’re looking for something serious.
For the most part, it’s about the rush we all feel when we flirt and hook up with someone new. Because of this, men will often “rebound” with several women.
What’s most interesting, however, is the fact that men typically engage in these behaviors to maintain their self-esteem and avoid any appearance that the breakup damaged them.
Guys hold onto their pride even more than usual after a breakup. They don’t want anyone to see them shed a tear.
While most of us see this confidence and ability to easily move on as upsetting, the truth is that it’s not how it looks.
According to John Amodeo, psychologist and author of Dancing with Fire: A Mindful Way to Loving Relationships, “Pride is often driven by poor self-worth and shame. We feel so badly about ourselves that we compensate by feeling superior.”
When it comes to breakups, men use their pride as a coping mechanism to avoid heartache. While this merely delays the inevitable, men seem to be hardwired to react in this way.
After all, society raises men to approach all emotions in a “masculine” way and “man up” when times get tough.
This is why many men mask their feelings after a breakup and avoid processing their grief by diving right back into dating someone new.
Also, men see failure as a sign of weakness and admitting that the end of a relationship hurts looks like failure.
Instead of sharing their feelings, men take on the “fake it ‘til you make it” mentality and put on a cloak of pride to cover up their pain.
As we mentioned, many guys try to cover up their insecurity by moving on immediately after a breakup.
Some guys believe the phrase “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” whereas others just think that someone new will make them feel better.
However, an insecure guy who quickly picks up someone new after a breakup never truly moves on.
Guys like this can never maintain successful long-term relationships because they haven’t taken the time to deal with their emotions and process why previous relationships failed.
Furthermore, clinical psychologist Josh Klapow shared in an interview with Psychology Today that this lack of emotional insight hinders a man’s ability to develop relationships in other ways.
When insecure men move on quickly, it ultimately prevents them from connecting with their partners on a deeper level.
This attitude ultimately makes men view relationships as "accomplishments" instead of meaningful partnerships.
When that happens, it starts a cycle of hookup after hookup where women become conquests, not people.
However, when men learn to feel secure with themselves and can fully experience vulnerability, they can break this cycle and learn to cope with the heartache of a breakup more effectively.
While missing an ex looks different for everyone, the general consensus is that most guys do miss you after the relationship ends.
For those insecure, prideful guys who jump right back into dating, it may take them longer to admit that they miss you.
However, men who know how to get vulnerable and express their feelings healthily may start missing you and reaching out shortly after the breakup.
According to the relationship coaches at exboyfriendrecovery.com, you can tell that he’s missing you afterwards if he does one of two things:
Regardless of his initial reaction, though, you will eventually hear back from your ex again.
Once your ex reaches out and expresses that he misses you, you may wonder if he’s still in love or just wants a booty call.
In this YouTube video, breakup coach and best-selling author Brad Browning shares how you can determine if your ex is still in love with you.
In fact, Browning shares that there are four very distinct signs that he’s still in love with you even after a breakup.
Regardless if you established a No Contact Rule or just ignored his messages and calls, if your ex is still reaching out to you weeks or months after the breakup, then chances are he’s unhappy with life without you and wants you back.
While contacting you at all after the breakup shows that he still cares, the actual content of his messages and calls speaks volumes as well. In fact, the more reminiscent your ex is when he contacts you, the more it suggests that he still loves you.
If you didn’t do anything that would have caused extreme psychological damage before the breakup, then any anger or sadness that your ex shows you could be a sign that they’re still hung up on the relationship (and still in love with you).
It’s very common for a guy to end a relationship then later second guess himself. If that’s the case, he may continue expelling his confusion outwardly through mixed signals towards you.
Browning is a world renowned relationship and breakup expert who's helped millions of women navigate the complexity of breakups and getting back together with their ex.
He's the creator of the #1 breakup and relationship program of all time, The Ex Factor.
If you are still confused about how men think, what you can do to get your ex back and stay with you, and much more, then check out this video below and see why this program is so highly recommended by women around the world.
As you’ve probably gathered thus far, men often do regret breaking up and struggle with their feelings post-breakup.
However, as you’ve also surmised from what guys do right after a breakup, it takes time for most men to reach that point of regret.
In fact, it can take up to six months for some guys to start missing you and regret ending the relationship.
Sometimes he regrets the breakup because he misses the life he had with you.
Other times he takes some time after the relationship ends to really process his feelings and he comes out the other side a more mature person who is ready for a committed relationship with you.
Although most of us worry that a breakup lasts forever, that isn’t always the case. In fact, a 2013 study found that nearly half of couples who break up end up back together again.
If you want to make your ex come back to you, though, experts agree that you need to do these five very specific things.
First and foremost, you should always give your ex-boyfriend some physical and emotional distance after the relationship ends.
This not only gives you both time to cool off, but also plays into the whole “absence makes the heart grow fonder” theory.
While giving your ex some space, though, you should also avoid talking about him in a negative light as much as possible — especially on social media. After all, you never know who’s looking.
Believe it or not, many experts say that men come back most often once you’ve personally recovered from the breakup.
In an interview with Cosmopolitan, relationship psychologist Dr. Mariana Bockarova suggests that women get into new hobbies or friendships after a breakup.
Filling your life with joy can help you turn things around, and all those cute Instagram selfies may cause your ex to see exactly what he’s missing.
Many of us start feeling desperate for love and attention in the months after a relationship ends.
While you might think that jumping into a relationship with someone new will help you feel better or make your ex jealous, it really doesn’t work that way, so take your time and heal first.
If you and your ex start communicating again, plan a meetup in person that’s at a neutral location without any romantic vibes.
In fact, consider grabbing an afternoon coffee or casual lunch without any alcohol. This takes the pressure off you both and keeps expectations low.
What drives men towards you? Is it love? Is it the excitement of chasing you and finally catching you?
Well it turns out the real key comes down to, whether he is infatuated with you still or not. And there is a very simple way how to make him and keep him infatuated with you. Learn everything you need to do here.
When we go through a breakup, we require time to heal our broken heart.
While men need time to heal as well, they often handle it in a way that baffles us and leaves us wondering how they can simply move on to someone new.
It’s important to remember that the way men handle breakups looks very different from us, but that doesn’t mean they have it any easier.
Guys still feel sad, they still miss the relationship, and sometimes they even want us back.
There's some common advice out there that "If things are truly meant to be, it will happen in time."
However, sometimes you have to go after what you want. If you think your ex is truly the one for you and want to win him back then our advice is to check out Brad Browning's program, The Ex Factor.
The Ex Factor teaches you how men think, and how to use that knowledge of male psychology to your advantage.
And who know's.... this in depth program might be the last thing you ever need to get him back and keep him forever. View the program here.
Back in 1992, a book by renowned author and relationship counselor John Gray hit the shelves. It was called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.
This guide to opposite genders was the first book of its kind and has since helped many couples better understand each other.
However, it's still challenging at times for us to understand what's going on inside our man's head, especially when they react in ways that are entirely different than how we'd respond as women.
In fact, one of the most troubling things men do in relationships is pull away or distance themselves from us emotionally.
We spend hours worrying over what we did wrong or if they're seeing someone else.
But are those thoughts really warranted, or are we merely worrying ourselves to death? Let's find out.
According to professional counselor Suzanne Jeffries, there are six reasons why men often pull away instead of choosing to commit to a relationship. These reasons include:
Obviously, you can potentially help him work through some of these issues, like fears about his past or concerns about the future.
However, some of these problems are more deeply rooted and will require serious time and professional help for him to overcome.
While the reasoning behind your man’s lack of commitment is important, your happiness and overall well being are just as important.
Don’t just “ride it out” with him for an indefinite amount of time because, honestly, he may never commit!
Instead, you should determine your expectations in the relationship and clearly express them to your partner.
Set boundaries with not only him, but yourself as well. It’s essential that you identify what you will and will not tolerate and that you hold yourself accountable.
While it can be hard to distinguish a man’s actions to figure out what’s really going on inside his head, you will notice some drastic differences in how he pulls away and acts in these two scenarios:
When he likes you versus if he’s distancing himself because there’s someone else in his life.
Believe it or not, there are actually some clear signs you can look for if you suspect there’s someone else in his life.
According to professional counselor David Bennett of Double Trust Dating, "It's normal for someone to find others attractive, but the intensity of the attraction is what matters.”
If he’s falling for someone else, you’ll likely notice that your partner:
If you see signs that your partner may be attracted to someone else, it’s time to sit down and have an open conversation without throwing accusations at him or threatening him.
While your emotions may feel high, it’s important to remain calm if you want to work through this issue.
According to a recent Reddit thread started by user "xoxolexy", men have numerous reasons for pulling away when a relationship starts moving in a serious direction.
Most of the time, though, men pull away when things get serious for one of three reasons.
Sometimes they fear the commitment of a serious relationship and don’t feel ready to give you what you’re asking for (or what they think you want).
Other times they withdraw because they see some sort of serious flaw that could prevent the relationship from lasting.
Finally, men sometimes pull away when things get serious because they ultimately fear vulnerability and rejection and find it easier to remove themselves before you break their heart.
It’s impossible to know how to handle every situation you encounter when dating someone.
However, when it comes to figuring out what to do when our partner starts to pull away, the experts at eHarmony say that we can all follow three basic steps to stop our lover from pulling away and help get the relationship back on track.
Step 1: Stop Overthinking!
When we feel our partner pulling away, our first inclination is to panic and start over-analyzing every little thing. However, that’s the exact opposite of what we should do in this case.
When we spend all of our waking hours worrying over our relationship and questioning why our man is pulling away, we actually cause more damage.
In fact, when we obsess over someone, we often end up feeling even more distant from them.
What’s more, we close people out when we become consumed by our thoughts, and this ultimately makes it harder for our lover to connect with us.
So instead of questioning every text message and cue you receive from your boyfriend, remind yourself that it’s normal for men to distance themselves at times.
If the relationship is meant to be, then he will ultimately work through whatever is causing the distance and come back to you in time.
Step 2: Allow Distance To Work Its Magic
When we feel our boyfriend pulling away, most of us automatically lean in and try to pull them back to us.
Just like over-analyzing the situation, though, pushing yourself into the front and center doesn’t actually help pull your man back to you. It may cause him to feel trapped.
Instead of pushing in, stop trying close that space and just let the distance work its magic.
Resist the temptation to ask him what’s wrong or badger him. Just let him make a choice to come to you. This will allow him to work through things and also help you feel more desired.
Step 3: Choose Your Words Wisely
Although he may need some time, eventually, you both will need to sit down and talk through why he pulled away and what you can do to help. When this happens, you must choose your words wisely and communicate effectively.
One trick here is to demonstrate to your man that you can handle emotional moments with poise and communicate in a way that is warm and genuine.
If you place blame or appear aggressive, that's a surefire way to push your man even further away.
Instead, use "I Statements," validate his feelings, and share how much you appreciate his honesty.
This may seem straight forward, but there's a science and art to communicating with men when they start to pull away. If you really want a guy to commit, you may want more in-depth expert training on what do to and say.
The Devotion System, by Amy North, is a relationship program that helps women understand male psychology and how to use that knowledge to get a man to commit to you, and only you.
Thousands of women have found success with this program, making it one of the world's most successful and popular women's relationship programs. You can watch the introductory video below.
Important Note: If you decide to watch the video below, make sure you watch it all the way until the end, because Amy shares some mind blowing tips. Many of which I had never heard from anyone else.
While it may seem odd to you that a man would pull away after he says he loves you, relationship expert Susan Winter stresses that this is a pretty typical response for any guy.
According to Winter, men often need more time to process than women when they commit to someone.
When they move forward or take any significant steps in a relationship, they need time to find their balance and fully process their emotions.
Often times we assume that men only care about sex. Because of this, women typically believe that men pull away after sex because they got what they wanted.
However, author and relationship expert Adam Shaw says that men rarely pull away after sex because they lose interest.
When we engage in sexual intercourse, our body releases oxytocin. This causes women to feel more connected, but men to feel intense pleasure.
Because of this, men may seem more distant in part because women crave connection after sex, and men don't always require that same bond.
If you feel like he's distant after sex, Shaw recommends that you "Just leave it be." If you push too hard, you'll seem desperate and turn him off.
If you've read this far, you've likely noticed some common advice regardless of when your man withdraws or distances himself.
But, if you haven't figured it out yet, the best thing you can do when a man pulls away is giving him some space.
In fact, stepping back from the situation served several purposes.
First and foremost, it allows your guy the space he needs to process his feelings. This will ultimately allow him to identify his emotions and convey them to you.
Furthermore, this time apart gives you an opportunity to really assess your own feelings.
You may find that your feelings are just as complicated as his. You may also discover that you needed some time apart to recenter yourself.
Finally, taking a step back allows you to calm down and not attack or overwhelm him during this time. This, in turn, can strengthen your relationship in the long run.
How men handle emotional moments is just further proof that John Gray was right: Men really are from Mars.
Although men sometimes pull away because they lose interest, more often than not they actually pull away because they simply don't know how to process their feelings.
While giving him space may sound like a terrible idea that you can't possibly handle, I promise it's the best way to let him work through his feelings.
If your man suddenly seems distant, just remind him that you care and let him know that it's okay if he needs some time to process things.
By showing him empathy and understanding where he's at, you'll not only earn some cool points, but you'll likely help him see that you really are the right woman for him.
While giving him space is excellent to do, once he's ready to reconnect with you, you want to be equipped with the knowledge in truly understanding him and what he wants.
The Devotion System by Amy North, is a program where you can turn into an expert regarding what men want.
You can learn how to get your man back, make him totally engaged with you, and how to make him commit. Watch the introductory video on the Devotion System here.